Love does not hurt.Now I know.If you had asked me this a year ago I would tell you that Love hurts.But I am all grown now and understand a few things about life.I totally dont understand love though but what I know is that love does not hurt.Its losing love that hurts and feeling betrayed and disappointed.Love grows you and keeps you healthy.So you must be careful who you love.And I guess that is why people always say love yourself first before seeking love from other people….so that when they disappoint you,you still have yourself to hold on to.It’s ok to love other people but if you don’t see yourself as a lovable being you will always run to people to seek validation and assurance that you are lovable and they will disappoint you.
One of the weaknesses I know about myself is that if I don’t know someone I tend to be very quite person.But once you and I know each other a bit I am a very naked person with my feelings.I cannot hide most of my emotions.My face is literally the mirror to my emotions and heart.I cannot hide pain or disappointment.So past few weeks God has been busy dealing with my poor lil broken heart.I don’t blame the poor boy.I blame myself for not listening to my heart and doing something my heart was against.It hurt but i still held unto it.Today I will be ok,then tomorrow i see his picture and there we go again..break down completely and I would only need a word of God to help me understand that I can live without him and that I am lovable as an individual.So I have accepted that this healing road will not be easy.There will be ups and downs but I am willing to go through all the self/God theraphy I need to come to a point or day when I see this guy and I smile..genuine smile because I would have let go.Love does not hurt..its our expectations that hurt us.And such is life,and I am ready for the process.
So this pain has been hindering me from writing lately because it was just clouding my whole thinking pattern,now that I am better,we are back to writing again and I can only thank God because He is the only one who really has been with me and understands the pain I have been through.And I found myself some poems (actually just last night and they inspired me to write this post) I hope you find something in them.Whether you are going through pain or not right now….enjoy
When Great Trees Fall
When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.
When great trees fall
small things recoil into silence,
eroded beyond fear.
When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
gnaws on kind words
Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
dependent upon their
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly. Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed. They existed.
We can be. Be and be
better. For they existed.
Azra. T. “Lessons #2”
Leave if your love hurts you.
Leave if it is always more pain than it is joy.
Contrary to what they’ll tell you,
Love does not make the world spin around.
You can want someone, baby.
You can want them until you’re raw.
That kind of longing can turn you into water after a live wire has been thrown into it.
It can turn you into the hand holding that wire,
But that doesn’t mean it’s right.
It doesn’t mean you should stay.
Don’t hang around just because you’re scared that you’ll never feel that kind of electricity again.
It’s not true, it never was.
The thing is, you were made to be touched by hands,
Attached to a body that finds itself at rest when it’s with you.
That finds itself quietly trembling when you’re together.
Those hands need to come with gentle words and an honest mouth.
A mouth that says your name in a way that sounds like the very definition of “falling.”
So don’t take less than that.
Don’t take half of that.
Above all, if it hurts, go.
You’ll fall in love so many times that you’ll lose count and it’ll shake you.
Tiny vibrations like tectonic plates with every stranger who you looked into the eyes and made your body feel new.
Find a love that makes you feel new, and better.
Always like you’re moving and staying still at the exact same time.
Grow, expand, and if it hurts, leave.”
Love is a beautiful thing.Loving someone gives you happiness beyond but Loving yourself is magical.I will rise and fall with the lessons of loving myself before i dare open my mouth to promise any other my love.My love is precious.I will take time to nurture it so that my my love when He comes he sees that I loved him before I met him.And that all goes back in investing in yourself,finding my purpose of this life each day.Why am I alive today?What change can I do in the world today?How can I grow towards more of my true self today?What excites me about life today that I should put my focus on?I did not even realise there was so much to do with my life because I was busy loving other people.
Now this is why I write…my healing is found in my words.The words I think about and say and write always help me when I need healing.(and music).How do you heal?(feeling super better right now..cannot help but just love writing)