Time

Time waits for no man.When you have a chance to do something about your life or feel the urge to do something in life….as long as you step on no one’s toes …then do it while you have time..

Time waits for mo man.If you wait till tomorrow you might find someone already doing thay which you postponed to do today and no space for you anymore.

Time waits for no man.We grow and change everyday.So does our needs and wants and responsibilities which may bring new desires to do new things..

Time waits for no man.Do not be old and wishing you had been more adventurous at a young age.Go out now.This weekend..stop postponing things.Cleary fear is not there to stop you but to give you the urge you need to succeed.

Time waits for no man.when you have time to do something you love do it today.You do not know what tomorrow brings.Unless you live in tomorrow relax and postpone and just sleep.

Nothing in life comes easy.Hard work.Either physical or spiritual hard work.Time will not be waiting for you though. Time waits for no man.Act today.

Seeking Him

There has to come a point where now you start seeking God…..not His hand.And now is the time.

His hand can be a job,marriage,blessings or any need you have.There has to come to a point where you get tired of always receiving things from Him and ask Him,you said in Jeremiah that you have plans for me…..clearly it is not the plan of God for you to spend the rest of your life running after blessings.Lord what is your plan for me?Am I where you want me to be?Lord am I being stubborn when you speak and hence I do not know where to go next?Your pastor cannot listen and speak to God for you till death…

How can we tell there has been a change from the many many sunday services you have been attending?From the many books you have read?-Only when we see change.It is of no use to read 10 books a year that talk about changing as an individual and yet you still remain the same.Stop and take a stock take in your life.Change tells us there has been growth.Some famous people like saying if you are not growing then you are dying-or going backwards.No such thing as not moving because the world is moving.Move.Change.Grow.Get out of your comfort zone and walk.Fear nothing and challenge yourself.

As a christian I believe that I can only find my destiny by spending more time in the presence of God….something I am yet to learn to do more often.By spending time before God I am like Abraham Lincon sharpening his axe…it is he who said when given a task to cut a tree he will spend more than half the time sharpening the axe so that it can be easy to do the job.How do you sharpen yourself for the world?

Let me know what you think in the comments.It’s 1 am out here gotta sleep.I want God,not His hand…was it not Jesus saying seek ye first the Kingdom of God?

#Rise Above and Show Growth

#doNotBeABabe4ever

#Grow

 

 

Defeated

Yes.Defeated.That is my current status.I give up and I just lift my hands and say take over God.God has defeated me.

I was born in 1989 and I gave my life to Christ when I was around 13 or 14 years.Why did I do it?My cousins used to take me to church and I loved it  because of the dancing and simply being told God loves you.Since then my relationship with God has been up and down and I have been able to see God do many things for me.Giving me jobs,peace,protection from car accidents,favour when I wasnt even supposed to be,forgiving me of my sins and covering me.

As I grew up I learnt about some things that one can do when you want to draw closer to God.It seems this is most dominant message in my mind because I always thought if I did these things I will grow in my relationship with God yet I  struggled.We have always been in stage 1 then I fall then we go back to stage 1 then I fall and same thing for more than 10 years now.So I fasted,attending all the church services,paid my tithe,offerings,cleaning the church,singing in the church but still remained in stage 1 with God.Why?

I do not know who God is.God is not healing,or a job or a breakthrough.There is a difference between knowing God and knowing His works.I know what He can do…And I can tell you what He has done for me.But Who God is…I have never come close to knowing Him till this past weekend.All day yesterday at church we talked about knowing God..this is not the first time this was talked about at church but this was the first time I actually heard them and realised I do not know God.Told my Youth pastor and He managed to give me a few guiding tips to help me.

For a long time I ran after the things of God thinking I am running after Him.I always felt that If I fasted and prayed more and gave my tithe God would hear me more.All those are important but they mean nothing if you do not know the God you are serving.That should be the first teaching every new believer gets.Know God.Yes you came to God running and need Him to help you with something but learn to know that God is not His Hand.

In closing for my post today think on this…God is Lord of all.He is enough alone.He died alone on the cross and rose alone and went before the Father alone.Before serving this God know who He is,otherwise you will work too hard and attempt things that already you have.All you need to know is who God is and why He died and what He can do or has already done for you.The difference between you and the person next to you is nothing but what you know.What do you know about the God you serve?

Knowledge is what will make one man wake up at 7 am and the other at 5 am.Knowledge drives a person.Not only about God but generally in life,what you know makes you better than the person next to you and will make you continue when others quit.This is why we say read books,meet new people and share knowledge.Learn something new today otherwise you would have wasted life today.What have you learnt today?What do you know that you did not know before?

The future is very promising right now for me.I know a few things now that I did not know before…I know and that alone just makes me at peace.For the first time in a long time.

#RiseAbove

#ReadandLearnSomethingToday

 

Passion/Purpose vs Pressure/People

Since the beginning of this year I have not been writing as much as I would have loved to..but good thing is my life has been great.Been taking some time to introspect a lot about my life and the future.I am always introspecting.I think I should pack my bags and go to the Himalayas just for a year-I would kill for such an opportunity.

Most of my ponderings were in relation to my career.I completed my degree in Accounting from the Univerisity of Botswana (UB) in 2012.In 2012 when we applied for tertiary I only applied to Botswana College of Agriculute and UB.For UB I had to make 5 course choices I wanted to enrol for.My first 3 choices were medicine related,and the last 2 were Business-Marketing then Accounting last.I just wrote accounting because I had knowledge of it not because I really wanted to do it and I did not think the registrar for the Univeristy would deny me the science courses I wanted.Then yeah admitted for Accounting.Loved it because it was easy sometimes.

Malia Obama is taking a year off after high school before going for college.I don’t know her reasons for that but I know I could have used that also.I think it’s good to take a break so that you find out what excites you in life before pursuing a college education on something you will not even like.And be like me on this cold Tuesday morning of May in 2016.Four years after I wrote my last examination and I still don’t understand why on earth I agreed to take the course.Was it because people told me that Accountants get paid a lot?or was it because I wanted to be like my role model-Mrs Linah Mohohlo who is the governor of Bank of Botswana (I actually googled her and wanted to do every course she has ever done so that I can be the governor one day also)?Or i just wanted anything I can do?I really wish somebody would have told me that I needed to choose wisely.

Right now,today,I have zero desire to continue pursuing a career in accounting ,like zero.Back in 2013 I tried to do the BICA (ICAEW) qualification and stopped just after 2 semesters.I love accounting but not as a career.My passion does not lie in working from 8-8 and my husband eating from a microwave,and my children sleeping before thier mum gets home,or from always arriving for family gatherings last because I had to produce some financial statements that wil be needed by the company board.My passion is nowwhere near any of that.I am here because I need money to pay rent.No other reason.My passion is doing with my hands.I love DIY and decorating things.I should have done internal design or something that requires me to work with my hands and actually use my mind to work and not rely on some 500 book page with rules on how to treat Bad debts or Acqusition of assets.

For a long time I struggled to find what my life was meant for,though I have not completed the whole puzzle yet…one thing is for sure down.I am not meant to be doing this.Started off with the wrong degree choice.No one to blame there.I did not know anything about passions in life and purpose and neither did the registrar m sure.I am for two things in life:

1.Helping people.Young and old.Either about life or discussing business management issues.

2.Working with my hair either to make jewelry,design stuff or reuse stuff and to decorate and making things basically eg soap.

I am at peace,even as I write this today my mind is calm.Because I think I have seen a glimpse of the light.This statement of you should not choose a job and just do anything you gotta do to live, I am not in agreeement with.I do not wish to be 50 and pushing my kids to do things I had failed to accomplish when I was young.Next thing for me to do is see what I can do around the accounting degree to pursue my goals.It might take some time to get off accounting and do what I want but I a know I am on the right track of my life now.Maybe get into Consultancy,and get serious about my wedding deco business.I have been keeping mayonnaise,wine,tomatosauce bottles in my house safely to use as DIY for my deco business.

Last week I went for an interview,the position-Logistics and Marketing officer.I have never seen myself so relaxed in an interview before.All my other interviews I was scared I might not make it.But this one….I was totally relaxed.Question is not whether I get the job or not,question is did you notice those feelings Nametso?For me the relaxation of my mind meant to me that this could be a place where my passion lies also.Marketing.Business Development.What will I do about it?Wait and see.

Like I said,I love helping people.I am just hoping that as you read my crazy story if you have not asked yourself yet, you can start today..Am I on the right path for my life?I am still under 30 years,no kids,no serious relationship,no siblings to take care of,my mother is still active and working…perfect time for me to get in the right path before responsibilities come.I know once you have kids now you gotta provide and no time for chasing dreams.So why not start today by working towards what you love and are passionate about.Please note this will work for me,I have no proof that it can work for you to follow your dreams in life.Find what works for you.I am not after big mansion and big cars while inside I die,I am after big heart with big smiles and happy family whether in Phakalane or G-west is not a really determining factor.For today le tme stop here.I am back on track now.I have to go and write down my plan for getting out of the field of accounting.

We all have a role to play in this life.Are you sure you are playing yours right?

#RiseAbove

#NewMonth #TimeToWork

Dare to be different and do you.Not the society.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Appreciating You

Goodness me.It has been so long without writing,despite having internet at home and work.I have been busy stressing myself with life and doing very little to change it.:( ..yeah right.

So,despite being frustrated by my job which I still love I have manged to conquer other parts of my life.I decided to try out some program I saw online called Marry yourself.Its a 21 day program that helps you to look inside of you and find out who you are and love yourself.We all know you cannot give what you do not have and if we claim to love other people and yet we dont love ourselves that is a complete lie.A lot of us rush into relationships because of pressure to be like others and not really for the commitment part of it.We end up with broken hearts because we do not know who we are and what we want in life.Life is like a Doctoroate degree..So many things to learn.I am still in high school though for learning about myself.

Back to the Marry yourself program,because of my laziness I have not done all the 21 days but the days I did required me to write myself a love letter.Think about it..how many love notes and letters have you written for others?How many have you written for yourself?I know…zero for me.So I jumped and wrote the letter.I challenge you to write one for yourself today.Whether you want to talk about your physical appearances or emotional intelligence whatever,write it.As long as you write it about yourself that is good.Look at that letter whenever you feel down and see the smile that comes from you.

Second thing I learnt was flirting with yourself.At the back of my mind I am wondering if this is even christian at all.Is this not being self-centred..and then I think also doesnt God encourgae us to have confidence and how can you be confident if you dont know who you are?I am at a crossroads with this one but I do it still.Take a mirror and look into it,Imagine that that mirror is you partner or a ‘development’ meaning potential partner.Make those giggles and flirty movements/faces like that for for 2 minutes in the mirror.How do you feel afterwards?Life can be hard and things around you can bring you down.I have made a decision to smile more often as it is good for my heart and health.Since I did this exercise whenever I see myself in a mirror I throw giggles at myself.You ask me why?And I ask you why not?Life is too short to be spent frowning.These are the little things that can brighten up your day in big ways.Life is more than just smiling though,like I always say take time to find out who you are and accept who you are.No one can ever accept you if you dont accept yourself.You have so much to give to the world.I can only pray that this week you sit down and appreciate you.Have we not smiled at others?flirting with people who only know how to break our hearts?write love notes and hide them for other people?And we have done so little for ourselves.You are worth a smile also.Give yourself one today.

I have been busy lately with trying to catch up on work and other business things.In May,our busines will have a stall at Railpark mall Flea Market day selling Mothers day hmapers and my homemade jam-have not decided what to use (melons) to make the jam but I know I am goin to make it anyway.Then I need to make time for my Young African Women in leadership-Team Botswana meeting.I love being busy…it keeps me from toruble because I know myself and idleness.All we know is causing trouble.All good vibes around me this coming month.

As for you…take that phone and start writing that love letter and take the mirror and flirt to the sexy you in the mirror.I can see your smile already.Damn you are hot.hhmm.I tell myself these things so that when someone says them I am not surprised..I will just be like ohh thanks. (I know,in my heart).Do you know who you are?What do you want in life?what are you good at?What are your weaknesses?What personal development are you doing for yourself this month?Its almost end of April..December will soon be here.

 

 

Character

If you are a writer then it means you are a reader also.Lately my love for reading has just gone up.Though I have been reading only one book for the past 3 months I am in love with the pace I am at.Fascinating womanhood is the name of the book.If you are a woman and have not read this book….I don’t know what to say to you.All books you have been reading about being the woman God meant you to be or pleasing men..this one summaries everything for you.Go out and get it now.

Now,as I was reading past few Easter days I stumbled upon some truth I did not want to find out.My character is lacking in so many ways.I have a lot to do as an individual to grow.I am where I am today because of my character.I am unnecessarily shy and it costs me a lot of things.Where I need to show confidence I shy away.Personally I am not pleased with that.So I am just about to finish this book n looking for more books to learn more about developing character.All I want is to be better.

If you have any books to recommend please do not hesitate to drop a comment below.All I want is to reach my full potential.Character in the business world. Character in terms of personal life and Character in Christ.

Otherwise I hope you all enjoyed being home and being with families or away on holidays.As for me I was somewhere enjoying Letlhafula.That is the harvest from the fields..maize..sweet reed..beans..etc.if you are african you know what I am talking about..

# RISE ABOVE
#WORKINGONMYSELF
#NEVERSTOPLEARNING

Finding healing in my words

Love does not hurt.Now I know.If you had asked me this a year ago I would tell you that Love hurts.But I am all grown now and understand a few things about life.I totally dont understand love though but what I know is that love does not hurt.Its losing love that hurts and feeling betrayed and disappointed.Love grows you and keeps you healthy.So you must be careful who you love.And I guess that is why people always say love yourself first before seeking love from other people….so that when they disappoint you,you still have yourself to hold on to.It’s ok to love other people but if you don’t see yourself as a lovable being you will always run to people to seek validation and assurance that you are lovable and they will disappoint you.

One of the weaknesses I know about myself is that if I don’t know someone I tend to be  very quite person.But once you and I know each other a bit I am a very naked person with my feelings.I cannot hide most of my emotions.My face is literally the mirror to my emotions and heart.I cannot hide pain or disappointment.So past few weeks God has been busy dealing with my poor lil broken heart.I don’t blame the poor boy.I blame myself for not listening to my heart and doing something my heart was against.It hurt but i still held unto it.Today I will be ok,then tomorrow i see his picture and there we go again..break down completely and I would only need a word of God to help me understand that I can live without him and that I am lovable as an individual.So I have accepted that this healing road will not be easy.There will be ups and downs but I am willing to go through all the self/God theraphy I need to come to a point or day when I see this guy and I smile..genuine smile because I would have let go.Love does not hurt..its our expectations that hurt us.And such is life,and I am ready for the process.

So this pain has been hindering me from writing lately because it was just clouding my whole thinking pattern,now that I am better,we are back to writing again and I can only thank God because He is the only one who really has been with me and understands the pain I have been through.And I found myself some poems (actually just last night and they inspired me to write this post) I hope you find something in them.Whether you are going through pain or not right now….enjoy

 

When Great Trees Fall
Maya Angelou

When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly.  Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed.  They existed.
We can be.  Be and be
better.  For they existed.

 

Azra. T. “Lessons #2”

Leave if your love hurts you.

Leave if it is always more pain than it is joy.

Contrary to what they’ll tell you,

Love does not make the world spin around.

You can want someone, baby.

You can want them until you’re raw.

That kind of longing can turn you into water after a live wire has been thrown into it.

 

It can turn you into the hand holding that wire,

But that doesn’t mean it’s right.

It doesn’t mean you should stay.

Don’t hang around just because you’re scared that you’ll never feel that kind of electricity again.

It’s not true, it never was.

The thing is, you were made to be touched by hands,

Attached to a body that finds itself at rest when it’s with you.

That finds itself quietly trembling when you’re together.

Those hands need to come with gentle words and an honest mouth.

A mouth that says your name in a way that sounds like the very definition of “falling.”

So don’t take less than that.

Don’t take half of that.

Above all, if it hurts, go.

You’ll fall in love so many times that you’ll lose count and it’ll shake you.

Tiny vibrations like tectonic plates with every stranger who you looked into the eyes and made your body feel new.

Find a love that makes you feel new, and better.

Always like you’re moving and staying still at the exact same time.

Grow, expand, and if it hurts, leave.”

 

Love is a beautiful thing.Loving someone gives you happiness beyond but Loving yourself is magical.I will rise and fall with the lessons of loving myself before i dare open my mouth to promise any other my love.My love is precious.I will take time to nurture it so that my my love when He comes he sees that I loved him before I met him.And that all goes back in investing in yourself,finding my purpose of this life each day.Why am I alive today?What change can I do in the world today?How can I grow towards more of my true self today?What excites me about life today that I should put my focus on?I did not even realise there was so much to do with my life because I was busy loving other people.

Now this is why I write…my healing is found in my words.The words I think about and say and write always help me when I need healing.(and music).How do you heal?(feeling super better right now..cannot help but just love writing)

 

 

On Giving up and Sadako and the 1000 paper cranes

Sadako was only 2 years when the US dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima in 1945.She got leukemia as a result.He friend told her if she could make 1000 paper cranes she will get her wish.Her wish was to be free from the cancer.She died in 1955 because of the cancer whilst at 644 paper cranes.
 
Her classmates made a memorial centre for her.She inspired many people and today many people send paper cranes to Hiroshima to honor her bravery in fighting leukemia to the end.Today movies and stories are told about her all over the world.
 
What will your story inspire today?
Past couple of weeks I have battling with my emotions as I wanted to just call it quits in life.I am tired of a life without results more so that I am a Christian..I have declared Christ with my lips..I was asking myself why I live in defeat and just felt truly best if I die now.Yeah true.I was already looking up the verse where Elijah wanted to die so I use the words he used. This even sounds crazy as I type…When you have people to talk to it’s easy but when you fight battles with just God and you it sometimes becomes hard when you seem a bit distant from God.(Disadvantage of being the old child).This morning I decided to look back and see the activities I engaged in before the victories I have had in the past.Learn those things I did and maybe if I repeated them I would get good results again.
 
Giving up is easy.I decided this morning that I will rise again.One more time God I pray give me strength and test everything I have not tested in this life and if it all fails then I will give up.After trying out everything I possibly can and it fails,I will call it quits.But for today I soldier on.I am not done yet with working on myself and seeing God work in my life and the lives of the ones around me.I have come to accept in my life that dark moments will come..victory comes in rising up.Sometimes you talk to people and no one truly gets you.I found my encouragement in this young girl Sadako.Should I make 1000 paper cranes also and maybe my wishes will come true?Dont know.But what I know works for me I will do.
 
This is my life and I am solely responsible for it.Whether I give up today or not it’s also up to me.The world can only do so much for me and the decision is up to me.Defeat is not meant to bring you down but give you a break from working hard.Sit down and cry and let all the heat out.Review your plans and dust yourself and do that thing which failed again.Sadako was too young to die..so am I.I will keep her in my heart and let her show me the road she took in fighting.She could have given up..But she did not…why should I?
Even though they may never see this post but the people I have talked to and encouraged me lately I will forever be grateful.You thought you were just having a conversation with me little did you know I was truly ready to give up.Last night I read some book and the author talked about why It’s important to always know ‘why’ we do some things.If you know why then giving up wont be easy and compared to not knowing why you are doing that.Why Am I alive today?Why am I a christian?Why did I choose this carrear?Why do i go to church?Once you miss the why..you stop working.
Why did Sadako make those paper cranes?I guess she just believed there is more to life than all that she had seen by then.Fighting discouragement and hopelessness is not easy.That is why I have written this post to tell you that you cannot give up.Your story will inspire someone without you even knowing it.Did Sadako have me in her mind??certainly not.She just wanted to live.But ended up lifting me up.Share you victory and help someone rise today.
 
What will your story inspire today?
May the souls of the thousands of people who died as a result of the atomic bomb in Hiroshima and neighbouring cities rest in Eternal peace.To all those who fought the radiation and shared thier stories…I am grateful.My story will inspire someone one day.
#This is Life
#Yet I rise Again

Is that all?

1989-You are born

1993-2007 Go to school

2008-2012 Go and get a degree

Following year-Get a job that pays a lot of money

2 years later-When are you getting married

1 year after marriage-Where are the kids?We want grandchildren.

Then you have the kids and spend the rest of your 50 years taking care of the children and being busy with life.Yes you are happy you got the dream job,you got the family and you now can blend in with your friends and have something in common with them.But are you really happy?Not is the family happy or the children doing ok,are you happy?Is this what you wanted out of life?

Things that haunted me last night.I saw someone on instagram who I used to work with about 2 years ago.This guy had gone to do his degree in Malaysia and was now back in Botswana to complete the stage where he must get a job and get married and kids…When the company retrenched its employees late 2014 he opted to leave the company.He was that guy who was always like ‘I want to leave Botswana and just stay outside for a very long time’.We all have those friends who are always so sure/making noise as we might term it that they are not going to be here for long.And we call them crazy..until we see them living that noise they used to make.Yeah.So this guy I assume he took his retrenchment package and sold his car and went off to Thailand to teach in a pre-school.And we all know he is not coming back anytime soon.He says he is trying to just live and see where life will take him.

Then a fear came over me.What Am I doing right now that fulfils my dreams? ‘Wait,wait Nametso you just saw this guy and you just think you want to live outside Botswana also..chill girl..’Nonetheless my biggest Fear is getting married and having children before I can do something that satisfies me.Since I woke up this morning this has been on me,that is because I know right now I am not doing anything I love-except this blog and my business.Is this all that I can do in life?There must be something more to life than just being a husband and wife or mother.I know in my heart of hearts I will not be truly happy until and unless I do something that makes me happy.Do my business,volunteer somewhere(at least 2 years),build an orphanage I want to in Botswana (still not decided about which town or village),and travel like I am paid for it.Some of the things I want will take years to build up,like the orphanage centre,so that will mean my life partner should be someone who supports this idea otherwise I will live a life of working hard to achieve other people’s dreams while mine gets buried.Then when my kids grow up try force them to live a dream that I failed.This is my worst Fear.I do not want to follow this routine of Life.I desire a life filled with trying and failing and trying again to achieve my dreams and then finally managing to win.Question is what is topping me from doing that?

Unfortunately being stuck in Fear and not planning and actually getting up and doing something about what I want is what is delaying my plans of living the life I want.No more.If because of work I cannot achive some dreams then I should find a way to make some progress with them. So time to get to my diary again and review my plans.The time when you are single-no relationship and no children is the best time to do yourself.So I will stop right here and go and do Nametso for some time.

I hope you get to live your dreams too.And maybe you can share your worst Fear in the comments section and we have a chat about it a bit.Sometimes you can find a way when sharing information with other people.Just incase you thought your dreams are too big know this day that it can all be achieved,You just need to have the right mind which will help you come up with the right plan/or rough plan that can get you started.

#DreamscomeTrue #LiveDon’tExist #RiseAboveFear-Part 2???